Monday, February 4, 2013

I didn't sign up for this!

Have you ever had a moment in your life when you exclaimed this phrase?  I have recently.  We always knew that there was something different about Buddy, but to hear the diagnosis of autism disorder, at 8 1/2 years old, hit us hard.  We got the diagnosis a day after the Sandy Hook tragedy.  At the time, everyone on the news kept talking of the shooter as being autistic.  It was not what we needed to be hearing(as false as many peoples' perceptions of autism  were).  It put fear in our hearts about what we would deal with in the future.  I was in mourning for several days.  Buddy was adopted from Guatemala when he was 6 months old.  He was presumed to be a "healthy" baby boy.  We weren't comfortable with requesting special needs because we didn't feel that we were the right family for that.  Well, God obviously had plans for us!  With God, it doesn't matter what we "sign up" for, He gives us what He knows we can handle when we rely on Him.  He grows us through difficult times in our lives. 

 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

Our boy is so precious and funny.  We can't imagine our lives without him.  He was meant for us.  God has been working on us all of our lives for this child.  He planted a seed in my heart for adoption when I was a teenager and he gave me a heart for kids with learning differences when He called me to be a special education teacher.  Then He gave me the gift of infertility.  Yep, a gift.  He grew my patience and my compassion through our infertility and adoption journey.  He took away my selfishness.  He brought my husband and I closer.  Now, through this diagnosis, God will again hold our hands and lead us.  We can do all things through Him who gives us strength.  Philippians 4:13.  God gives us a hope for the future and He provides strength for us as we walk this road.  We don't know what is ahead, but we will trust in Him for today.  We will deal with tomorrow when it comes.  I will cherish my days with Buddy and I will be his biggest advocate.  Thank you, Lord, for my sweet boy!

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

1 comment:

  1. Oh sweet friend, I didn't know you were blogging! But, I've "bookmarked you now." =) First, thank you for your encouragement and words to me through my blog. You are a blessing, my dear sister in Jesus! And, I will start praying for this new journey, with your little guy. You are right that our Father chose you to be his family and will supply all your needs. I am so sorry for this difficult time, but I'm praying for you and looking forward to watching our Creator, your little man's Creator, work in your lives and his! *Hugs & Prayers*